Keeping Secrets and Telling Lies
by LilStrawbaby
Summary: Some secrets are best left untold and lies the only protection there is to offer.


Keeping Secrets and Telling Lies

By: LittleStrawbaby

Rating: R

Spoilers: Through Resistance. It's not AU, not yet… g 

Pairing: Lee/Laura, with guest appearances by Elosha and Zarek.

A/N: For Linna, who thought this was a FAB idea. g Daysia and Lucia belong to me, characters from my own twisted imagination.

She is unprepared for the outpouring of affection that greets her as they exit the hangar bay. They are lined along the hallways and spilling over into the dining hall. Hands, everywhere, reaching out to touch their Savior—her arms, her shoulders, her hair. And she feels uncomfortable—she doesn't like this attention, this worship. But Laura forces a serene smile and nods, accepting the adulation.

The crowd parts slightly as they move through the dining hall, and Zarek leads them through the gathered crowd. She sees movement from the corner of her eye and she jumps slightly as a small child launches herself at Roslin, wrapping her arms around the older woman's knees.

"Momma!" she cries.

"Madame President, I'm so sorry," a woman says breathlessly, attempting to peel the child away from Laura.

"It's all right." Roslin stills the older woman, stunned by the sight of the child, hugging her close. After a moment, she lifts the girl into her arms, stroking her back. "Tom, please show us to our quarters."

Zarek nods dumbly, leading the three refugees through the eerily silent throng. He leads them into the belly of the ship, into a cargo hold, where living quarters have been hastily thrown together.

"It's not much, but it's a place to hide and sleep."

"Thank you," Roslin says, a warm smile on her face. "It's wonderful."

She puts the whimpering child down on a pallet, reassuring her that everything is all right. Elosha takes a seat beside the child, speaking quietly, as Laura motions the two men away from the priest and child.

"There will be a crew member in the vicinity at all times, in the event we need to alert you that the Marines have boarded. If that's the case, those crates over there are empty and concealing another hatch. We'll give you all the help we can," Zarek advised.

"I'd rather you didn't put anyone at risk for us."

"None of the civilians will be involved. You have my word."

"Thank you, Tom," Lee says, shaking Zarek's hand.

"I uh, wasn't aware you had any children, Madame President."

"I don't, Mr. Zarek. Daysia is my goddaughter. I—I can't believe—do you know what happened to her mother?"

"She was—ill, Madame President. The stress of all this, running from the Cylons, lack of the usual freedoms, she just—"

"No! Lucia wouldn't. She wouldn't leave Daysia alone like that."

"I'm sorry, Madame President," Zarek murmurs, his expression pitying.

"Oh Gods," she whispers, tears filling her eyes. "When? How?"

"Last month. She was here for two weeks. Laila, the woman who tried to take the child, has been caring for her. From what I understand, she's been crying for her Aunt Laura, but we never imagined…"

"Madame President, it isn't wise to keep her with us. She might get hurt."

"Yes, you're right, of course. But, I don't—I can't—"

"If you'll come with me? I'll send Laila for her. Of course you're welcome to visit Daysia any time."

"Thank you," Roslin says softly. She moves to say her goodbyes but Apollo blocks her, his hands on her arms, his expression sad. "Oh. Of course. I'm sorry."

"This way, ma'am."

Laura nods and follows Zarek without looking back—she cannot bear to.

"Would you like something to drink? Are you hungry?"

"A glass of water would be wonderful," she murmurs.

Zarek pours her a glass and hands it to her, taking a seat beside her on the sofa. She tries to suppress the shudder that travels down her spine at his proximity and she tosses her hair. He takes her hand, his fingertips tracing the soft flesh.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about," she says calmly, attempting to pull her hand from his grasp.

But Zarek tightens his grip. "No debt to me goes unpaid, Laura."

"Debt?" Her heart stops beating for a moment as she realizes Zarek knows—she and Daysia are in danger if she doesn't cooperate. And Zarek will take what he wants whether she consents or not.

"Don't be coy. Surely you knew there would be a price for my generosity."

"Of course." Laura closes her eyes as his hands remove her jacket, forcing back the tears. "Captain Apollo. Swear to me he will never know."

"I swear it," he breathes in her ear as he unfastens the hook-and-eye fasteners of her blouse.

"This is a deal breaker."

Her tone is hard, her eyes cold and Zarek knows she means it. She's ordered a ship destroyed and blown a Cylon out of an airlock—it wasn't a stretch that Zarek would meet an untimely demise should he break his word.

"You have my word." He squeezes her right breast hard, his breath coming faster as she gasps in pain and he forces her onto her back.

Their clothing is scattered on the floor and he has her pinned to the sofa, her arms restrained above her head at a painful angle, when Lee enters Zarek's quarters. Enraged, Lee pulls him off of Roslin and punches the older man in the stomach, sending him to the floor. Drawing his service weapon, Apollo stands over Zarek, the barrel at his temple.

"Captain Apollo! Don't!" Roslin cries tearfully, quickly pulling her panties on. She covers herself with her blouse and grips his arm tightly, "Lee. You don't want to do this. Don't make our troubles worse."

Apollo hesitates for a moment, then flicks the safety on, holstering his weapon. "You'll never be alone with him again, Madame President. You have my word."

"Thank you," she whispers gratefully.

With shaking hands, she pulls her shirt on, followed by her slacks, silent tears on her cheeks as she gathers her bra and jacket. Lee wraps an arm around her and leads her from the room. At the hatch, Laura turns to Zarek, who is still sitting on the floor, gripping his stomach.

"Consider my debt paid in full."

They do not speak until they return to their quarters. Lee settles Roslin on her pallet and quietly asks the concerned priest to leave them. After securing the door behind Elosha, Apollo takes a seat beside Laura.

"Can you tell me what happened?"  
"I don't want to talk about it, Captain Apollo," she replies hoarsely.

"I respect that," he murmurs. "Would you like me to leave you alone?"

"No, please stay."

"Do you, um, do you need anything?"

"A shower would be nice."

"I'll go find someone and ask where you can bathe."

"Please, that can wait." Laura takes his hand and clasps it tightly. "I just—"

Squeezing her hand gently, he says, "You need a minute. That's fine. You take as much time as you need."

"He said—his generosity wasn't free. If I—my 'debt' would be paid."

"That bastard. I knew it! When you said—oh Gods, did he—are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. Really. You got there—" She breaks off as hot, rebellious tears spill down her cheeks.

Lee pulls her into a hug, softly stroking her back and Laura's heart skips a beat. "You go on and cry. It will make you feel better."

"Guys like you aren't supposed to exist. That or you're already married," she chuckles, wiping her eyes.

"Well, I've been holding out for the right woman. But you should've let me kill him. He tried to rape you."

"I wasn't fighting him."

"Doesn't matter. You weren't a willing participant. He was extorting sexual favors from you."

"I just want to forget this. Could we please not talk about it?"

"Of course, I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for."

"I should've seen this coming. I saw the way he leered at you when we came aboard. I should've known he'd try something."

"Stop it! You couldn't possibly have known. You are not to blame and I won't allow you to shoulder the responsibility."

"Yes ma'am."

"Please, call me Laura. We've survived the end of the world together and now we're fugitives. It only seems fair."

"OK…Laura."

And she loves the sound of her name on his lips. It suffuses her with a warmth she thought she'd forgotten years before.

"I didn't mean to make you feel awkward. If you'd rather refer to me in terms of my office, I completely understand. I just thought…maybe it would make things a bit more bearable."

"No that's not it at all," he says softly, catching her chin with his fingers, gently turning her head. "I'm, well, happy you see me as an equal."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I hate to interrupt this charming little scene, but the Marines have landed," Zarek says scornfully. "Forgive me. Perhaps you'd rather I let them find you?"

"That's the last thing you want, Mr. Zarek. The devil you know is better than martial law, wouldn't you agree?" Laura retorts.

"Time is a factor, unless you'd rather return to the brig."

Lee and Laura exchange a look, fully aware they had little choice but to trust the man they both regard as an enemy. With a nod, Roslin gets to her feet and both she and Apollo gather the bedding from the floor as Zarek moves the crates blocking the entrance to another cargo hold, filled nearly to capacity. They enter in silence, taking in their surroundings.

"I brought you some water and food. I don't know how long they'll be aboard; this is a big ship as I'm sure you recall, Captain Adama."

"This better not be a trap, Zarek. I'm sure the press would love to hear about how you tried to extort sex from the President. And the scene I happened upon sure looked an awful lot like rape."

"I assure you, Captain, it was nothing of the sort. But if you require further proof…"

"We believe you. Now lock us in here before they locate us," her tone soft, yet commanding.

"Madame President, Captain." Zarek nods and closes the hatch, the lock clicking in place the last sound they hear.

They are glad they rationed the food and water now. They've lost track of the time that has passed, they've heard no sounds and seen no one. They had run out of things to say hours before, so Lee had started telling tales from his childhood. Some made her laugh until tears rolled down her cheeks, others provoked tears of sadness, but much to his disappointment, she kept silent about her own past.

Frustrated, Apollo demands, "What were you, raised by wolves? Surely you have a story to tell."

Laura laughs. "My life is downright boring in comparison. I couldn't begin to top the story of you tying your uncle to the bed while he was napping."

"I don't care about that. I just wanna hear about you."

"Well, I was the baby of the family—two sisters and a brother. They were all gone long before the Cylon attack."

"Oh Gods, that's awful! What happened?"  
"Momma died of cancer, breast cancer. My dad and sisters were killed in a car accident when I was very young. A drunk driver hit them head on. My brother died five years ago, heart attack."

"I'm sorry, Laura."

"That which doesn't kill you…" she shrugs. "I've made my peace with it."

"It's tragic to know so much death in one's life."

"A warrior and a thinker, such a lovely combination," she teases lightly.

"Do you even realize you're doing that or is it—" Lee breaks off.

"Please, do tell."

"Ssh, I thought I heard something."

Apollo begins to gather their things and Roslin follows suit. He leads her to the back of the hold, gesturing for her to drop the bedding on the floor behind a crate large enough to hold a Raptor, resting three feet from the back wall. Both are grateful for the relative darkness of their location, it allows them to express the fear that's slowly building.

"Maybe I was wrong to trust him, Laura," Lee murmurs, "he'd sell his own mother up the river if it'd further his own agenda."

"No, he won't sell us out now. He's got something far more sinister planned for us."

"And we'll fight it. Just as we did on Colonial Day, just as we're fighting my father and Tigh."

Laura smiles in the dimness and rests her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you're here. I couldn't do this without you."

"I wouldn't let you do this alone," he murmurs and takes her hand. "Besides, I'm Captain Apollo, remember? Fighting for my president, one galaxy at a time."

She laughs throatily and the sound affects him in ways that it shouldn't. There were already a hundred reasons why it was wrong, their dire situation excluded, but the idea had manifested itself weeks before and he couldn't prevent his mind from going there. She's so close and he can still smell the milk and honey scent clinging to her hair, her body so warm and soft against his own.

"Lee?" she breathes, and he feels himself growing hard.

"Yeah?"

"Would you—just for tonight—I just want to feel safe."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Just—would you please hold me?" she whispers shyly, embarrassed by her own weakness.

"Of course, I will." And he's finding it difficult to think as his blood begins to rush everywhere in his body but to his brain.

"Thank you."

They lay face to face on the tangle of sheets, blankets and pillows, their arms wrapped around each other, their breath mingling, though they carefully maintain distance between their bodies. Neither is aware of the effect they're having on the other—it is ill-advised and dangerous in their present circumstances. They lay together in silence, talking down their respective bodies, each praying the other is unaware.

Roslin wakes some time later with a slight jerk, disoriented. She stretches her stiff muscles and realizes she is tangled with a warm, solid form, their bodies pressed together tightly. She goes still and takes in her surroundings, hearing rough breathing, noting her thigh is sandwiched between two legs and pressed against a hard, male body.

Mortified by the moisture pooling between her legs, she gasps, "Oh my Gods."

Apollo touches her face and kisses her forehead, his breath hot against her skin. Neither can deny the relentless pull any longer. She lifts her face, her own breathing quickening, and brushes her lips against his.

"Laura," he breathes, tenderly pressing her onto her back, covering her body with his own.

And their lovemaking is the closest thing to a religious experience either of them has ever had. Lying together in a tangle of limbs, sharing languid kisses and gentle caresses, Roslin makes a whispered confession.

"I've wanted this since the moment I laid eyes on you."

Apollo grins and murmurs in her ear, "Have you. Why didn't you say anything? I would've made this happen a long time ago."

"Because…"

"You think it shouldn't have happened."

"Yes," she admits sadly, her index finger drawing patterns on his muscular chest.

"Why?" His hurt is palpable and her heart aches for causing his pain.

"I can't remember any more. All those reasons seem foolish now."

"Yes, they do," he agrees, his fingertips lightly tracing the ridges of her spine.

"What if this hadn't happened, the coupe, my father throwing you in the brig, our escape? Would you have stayed silent anyway?"

Echoing the words she'd once told his father, "In battle, you only die once. In politics, you die over and over."

"Meaning what exactly?"

"Meaning we both would've been crucified had knowledge of a romantic relationship become public. Every move scrutinized, discussed, gossiped about—we would have been destroyed publicly and privately."

"What about 'the Gods' and your 'sole purpose?'"

"We don't always do as the Gods command, do we? We wouldn't be in the trouble we're in now if we'd left well enough alone."

"So does this mean we aren't over before we've begun?"

"Obviously," she says, climbing onto him, straddling his hips, pinning his arms above his head, "you don't know me as well as you think you do, Captain Apollo. When I want something, _nothing_ stands in my way. That includes your father, Tigh and the entire frakking military. Are you with me?"

"Ya know, I think I'm really gonna enjoy the 'getting to know you' phase of our relationship."

"Well I'll be damned," Elosha says in a tone that's part surprise, part amusement.

Roslin freezes, her eyes widening in horror as they meet Lee's. She reaches for a sheet and wraps it around her nude body, attempting to dismount, but Lee holds her firmly where she is.

"Would you please leave us alone for a moment, Elosha?" he asks politely.

"Of course. And you have my word; nothing leaves this room. I didn't see a thing."

"Thank you, Mother," Laura murmurs, flushing heatedly.

"You're welcome, Madame President." The priest turns to leave and pulls the hatch open, pausing in the doorway, calling over her shoulder, "It's about frakking time, too."

"Who is Daysia really?" Apollo asks, groaning as Laura works her hips, moving them closer to ecstasy.

"What?" Her concentration is broken and she stills, staring down at him warily.

"She's not just your goddaughter, is she? That auburn hair, those big green eyes…"

"Daysia is Lucia's daughter," she pants her tone sharp.

"Why are you lying? She looks just like you."

Roslin closes her eyes, her shoulders hunching. She takes a deep, cleansing breath and begins. "Lucia was my oldest and dearest friend. She waited until she was in her late thirties to marry and by that time, genetic issues and endometriosis had stolen her chances at conception. And she wanted a child so badly…so I donated my eggs. But Daysia isn't my child, not really, not in the ways that count. I've always been Aunt Laura."

"Whether you choose to accept it or not, she knows. Don't you think she sees the resemblance? Senses your connection?"

"I can't—how can I betray Lucia? It will destroy Daysia to know the truth, that her mother is only her mother in name. And I'll be dead in a matter of months. I can't do that to my—to a child."

"How do you think she's going to feel when she grows up and learns the real truth?"

"She will never know, Lee. The truth dies with me."

"You can't do that to her, or to yourself."

"I can, Lee, and I will. I expect you to respect my wishes and keep this to yourself."

"I will," he promises, but the look on his face makes no secret of the fact that he disagrees with her decision.

"Thank you. I only want to protect her," she says softly, nipping his lower lip lightly and resuming the rocking motion of her hips.

Is it her you're protecting or yourself? Lee wonders with concern, until her rhythmic clenching removes all trace of rational thought from his mind.

The End


End file.
